to match or not to match? by violet.

every time i turn on the tv, i see the ad telling me: "it's ok to look" . they're everywhere. my personal favorite is the one with the cute painter wearing torn jeans that is practically begging me to pose for him. or how about one starring the geeky-looking guy with the shy smile i can vividly imagine sharing my life with... obviously, these eligible bachelors make me stand up and pay attention. i've even devoted a few hours one evening to a little online shopping (code word for browsing hundreds of profiles). but, the question begs to be answered honestly and with much consideration... is it really ok to look?


there are several perspectives on the concept of online dating. in some crowds, it's a curse word. however, in other crowds, its the modern-day take on When Harry Met Sally. Only this Harry found his Sally on match.com rather than on a backwards double date. personally, i'm torn. i'll admit, i've had 2 incredibly short and failed attempts at e-dating. this last time, a colleague at work challenged me to go on 20 dates in one month and i made it to 16... with no good second dates or any party favors. i was even accosted in a taxi cab. it was a bust. but when that month was compared to other months i’ve had, at least i wasn’t standing in the upstairs of Ozzie’s wondering why no drunk 23 year old frat boy was hitting on an old dame like myself and why i hated my romantic life so much. you see the issue?


so, i break my perspective into 2 parts: 1, it's a lot of work, a lot of emails, a lot of nerves, a lot of money and a lot of bad dates. not to mention, there is something to be said for truly connecting with someone when you are able to look in their eyes. chemistry, i believe it's called. you can tell a lot by the way you interact, the way he looks at you, body language, etc… i hesitate to say this, but no matter how well he describes his passions in an email or the way he says hello on the phone, it’s easier to assess the staying power of a date when you can actually SEE your date. please suspend your “don’t judge a book by its cover” rebuttals, it’s not that at all. i just want to reiterate the importance of that certain something you feel when you meet someone face-to-face.

and then there’s 2… why the hell not? given all the hassles and butterflies in the tummy, i would be up for a few good Happy Hours, a few good dates, a few new friends...i think at this point, i'm open to taking a chance! and shoot. if i meet someone and we fall in love along the way...? i'd be happy with that result.

stay tuned...