I have lost a dear and true friend. I met Hannah in the fall of 2000. I had just packed up my life of 18 years to move into an 8x10 cinder block room a 1,000 miles away from home.
Sharing that small of a space with a person, you really get to know them. And Hannah was awesome. She had this goofy sense of humor and didn’t take herself too seriously. She laughed easily. Once, we took squirt guns up to the 4th floor attacked the boys upstairs.
She forgave easily – I locked her out of our room while she was showering down the hall (twice). And she just laughed relaying the story to me about how she had to go to the dorm office in her bathrobe.
And while nothing is like living together in a tiny dorm room we stayed close over the years. We might not have seen each other all the time but I discovered that Hannah and I had that rare gift in friendship that would allow months to pass between our meetings but when we did get together it was just like being back in Watson Hall.
When I found out she was sick, I panicked. Not Hannah. She was a healthy, happy, beautiful person. Surely the world wouldn’t do that to her. But in true Hannah fashion she battled back with the faith, humor and positive outlook that only she could have. Most the time when I talked to her, she was putting my mind at ease.
As she began to get better, I took for granted the fact that she would be around. I thought there would be more time. I thought there would be bridesmaid’s dresses, home ownership, babies and more life to share.
I will always be grateful to have known Hannah. My life is truly better for having been her friend. I will carry her in my heart forever.
i carry your heart with me
By ee cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
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There really are no words when it comes to losing someone you love...touching words about Hannah, and the EE Cummings poem is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your loss. I hope you have a safe trip down to her memorial service this weekend. :(
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