Two years ago, I lost a good friend of mine. The world lost an amazing person. She would have been 30. Would have been.
What I’ve noticed is that over time, I feel Hannah’s absence more acutely. Every once in a while I will get the urge to call her, tell her something funny and just catch up on life. When this happens, I lose her all over again.
Instead I dip into my suitcase full of memories – jumping on our dorm room beds signing Rascal Flats at the top of our lungs, her giving me a ride home from my 21st birthday dinner and long phone conversations. And then I daydream about what she might be doing now or what she might say or what advice she would give me. It’s imperfect but it’s all I’ve got. And for those of us who have lost those that we love, it’s all any of us have.
The one thing I know for sure, Hannah would tell me to cheer up, be grateful for my life and enjoy it. So my darling, I will do just that.
Violet in Born Adele flats
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It's just not something I can wrap my head around, even now.
ReplyDeleteI can't delete her number from my phone, even though I know she wouldn't be at the other end...
And you are right - she would say to be grateful and enjoy ourselves. What an amazing person.
So sad to lose a loved one. I somehow have gotten to age 39 without losing someone I'm SUPER close to, a miracle I think, but maybe I just don't let myself get that close to others...regardless - I had a friend pass away unexpectedly once and it still hits me as a shock that he's just *gone*. I can't imagine how much it hurts when it's someone you were very close with.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss. Cherish the memories.