Thursday, February 3, 2011

The marital industrial complex. by violet

I never wanted to be THAT girl. The girl who gets engaged and suddenly loses all her marbles. The girl who for a year straight can only talk about catering choices, florists and bridesmaid’s dresses.
It kind of hit me that I was turning into THAT girl when J.P. suggested that he would be happy with a couple of kegs and a community center hall for our reception and I nearly threw up at the thought.

But you see this thing happens when you start planning a wedding. It’s like the biological switch gets flipped and suddenly importing trees directly from Bali doesn’t seem like THAT crazy of an idea.

Here’s what’s really tough, knowing what you want vs. what this multi-billion dollar industry is telling you to want.

Here’s what I do know for sure:

No bouquet toss: This is a horrible tradition. Who was the person who thought, I know, let’s get all the single people together and shame them for being single by making them fight it out for a bunch of flowers? I would like to slap them. This tradition has caused me much personal embarrassment – Kenz got me out of the bathroom for the bouquet toss at her wedding. (Did I time this bathroom break with this event? Yes, obviously). At my dad and stepmom’s wedding, the one time I can recall actually wanting to catch the bouquet, some other girl stole it right out of my hands. If my niece wants the bouquet, she can have it minus the embarrassing stampede.

Can you find me in this picture? There's a reason for that.

No garter toss: Again horrible tradition. I know, newly married couple, have the groom reach up the bride’s skirt in front of ALL YOUR RELATIVES and throw the object that was previously on the bride’s upper thigh to other single men in attendance. Real awkward when you think about it. Real awkward.

Photo booth as a wedding favor: This is no brainer for us, J.P. is a photographer. I love the idea of a favor that people will actually like/use. Though not as cool as getting a toothbrush and floss, still cool. Many of the weddings we went to last year had photo booths. I now have one of the photos framed on my desk at work and another is framed at home. Also in this age of digital photos, it’s really nice to have couple of printed photos of you and your sweetie all dressed up and looking cute.

It was a dentist wedding

Currently framed in our living room

No cake: J.P. doesn’t really like cake (I know, it’s weird, I love him anyway). I’m not going to force him to eat something he doesn’t want to on our wedding day just cause that’s what you are “supposed to do.” I like cake but not enough to throw a hissy about it, you know? I get plenty of cake other places, like office birthdays. So what does that leave us with - cupcakes are just mini cakes. I don’t like pie (I know, it’s weird, J.P. loves me anyway). When I heard about a wedding that had donuts I was sold. Plus there’s an amazing place in Seattle that makes almost my favorite donuts in the whole world. Everybody wins.

It was delicious

Mmmmm donuts
Other than that, I’m pretty much overwhelmed with all the choices. A girl could really go insane. But I’m trying to do my best to keep it all in perspective and remember this is a day about sharing our love with the people who matter to us most, not about those imported trees from Bali. But they are stunning.

Violet in Jessica Simpson Cody


  1. Speaking of too much cake, we have a cake over in our area for a few birthdays today. :)

  2. Gosh, my wedding got a shoutout in a negative way.....eek! Come to think of it, I never liked being apart of the bouquet toss until I was the one tossing it. It must have been the "THAT girl" thing that caused me to do it! Whatever you want is what you should do, its YOUR day, not all of your guests'. Plan the perfect day for you and it will be perfect no matter what. :)

  3. I opted to elope! I was too close to becoming THAT girl and it totally freaked me out. We planned our perfect wedding and loved every minute of it. I hope you do too! Whatever perfect is for you!

  4. Yes, the bouquet toss = so embarrassing!!
    Also please promise you will not play "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" at your reception... too many bad memories of being dragged out onto the dance floor, haha!
    Old married lady advice: I know you don't wanna be 'that girl' who goes all nuts for her wedding but also don't worry too much about wanting certain special things (mushy first dance song? hot pink sparklers for the reception?) because that is just what that day is - special!